I'd like to die now please

Nope, I don't think I am jinxing myself if I joke about death. You do? Then you need to take out that coconut tree that is stuck up your ass and live a little more relaxed. Death is just the end as WE know it. And we don't know jack.

I am so saturated with this square life right now and my inabilities to be a human being that I would like to throw my ass in Baghdad City wearing a "Baghdaddy" print T-shirt. Or go stand on the emergency lane on the 6th ring road and get run over by a cop car. Maybe dive too deep and get nitro narcosified! The interesting options are endless. How about getting tied to a 241 helium balloons? Why not 240, you ask? That coconut tree is still corked in your ass then.

(((((This post actually reminds me now of the Book of Bunny Suicides, an absolute must have. Ingenious ways for fluffy bunnies to die by Andy Riley. He wrote a sequel and some other interesting titled books that probably won't have him contemplate suicide without a will.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/hyperdrive/))))

My next post is going to be on possible stress relievers while you are at work that give you results in a few minutes. They may be products I will create in the next five minutes and sell to you for 5.050 K.D apiece