Sunday, February 1, 2009

Bottom Drawers of Office Desks.

Don't you often wonder whats in the bottom drawer of peoples desks at work? Well, I'll tell you what recently inhabited mine, hopefully not for too long. A packet of Twix. And Snickers. And the Snickers packet was on special offer, which made you buy some 6 large snicker bars for a discounted price. I don't think it really was discounted, but my senses chose to go with the illusion.

That's what's in my bottom drawer now, though it until recently used to have all these little chits and letters and tiny gifts given by my ex who I kinda worked with. I even found a shrivelled rose (not even a rose petal kept between the pages of a book) but a whole darn dry withered rose. Cheesy.

Speaking of cheesy, the reason my bottom drawer has a new personality is my new need to gain weight. I like experimenting, and also decided that people need to find a new name to call me behind my back at work. Make 'em rack their brains to come up with something a little less cliched than "That skinny bitch". I don't mind them retaining the bitch part of it, it makes me happy to think I'm successfully foisting off that demeanor. So I've marked a cereal box and carton of milk with my name and stacked it at the back of the office fridge so I don't skip breakfast anymore. Mission 5 more pounds is on, baby, on! After that, I think my bottom drawers gonna be monopolized by bootlegged DVDs that I need to swap for something new.

7 comments:

Bella@That damn expat said...

I gave you an award: http://thatdamnexpat.blogspot.com/2009/01/no-point-in-waiting-for-tuesday-when-i.html

Signed: Another skinny bitch.

Braja said...

If you really want to make a statement, buy skim milk :))

Captain Dumbass said...

Or chocolate milk.

Errant Gosling said...

I think of all the blogs I've recently read (or for that matter written) you may be the only person in the world trying to gain weight right now. :) Good luck to you!

blognut said...

I have 4 packets of terrible tasting oatmeal that looks more like drywall mud in my bottom drawer at work. There's also a lint roller, black shoe polish, and an extra cell phone charger.

Good luck with the weight gain - it kills me to say that to you!

Asphodel said...

Bella! Yay my first award!!! Thanks! :)

Heh Braja, lol. nope its full fat all the way right now! :]

Aye Capn, got a dozen tetrapacks already :-]

Gosling, I know right? Well, yea was happy with my weight but lost like 10 pounds out of the blue recently. Just want em back!
I'm just one of those people with an amusing jughead like metabolism.
Heh blognut the lint roller is in my car, I use it on the seats as well :-]

Cheryl said...

Ah, that's totally my nickname at work- although I'd like to think it's because people are envious.