Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I used to write like she did. My thoughts would twist and turn, and come forth in beautiful tangles of threads, each of different colours. Colours that are hard to find on Microsoft Paint. Maybe on Adobe Illustrator, you'll find them. My mind would stray to the stars, skip through galaxies, plummet back to earth and bounce across continents. It would plop into an ocean and sink deep, complacently watching every movement in the dark depths for eons. Simultaneously it would be in another dimension, the dimension of everyday that spews up a gurgling lava flow of observations. Each with their own stories and jigsaw puzzle shaped situations. I'd play with words, and eat them, and sleep with them, and rape them, and put them on a pedestal, and inject them with each other, and that would leave me high.

What changed?

Maybe if I use this font it'll come back to me? Maybe if I have a different canvas instead of this computer screen to transmit my thought s to? Maybe my synapses are connected to my fingers which don't feel the same way about the keyboard as they did about my pencils. Maybe this corporate world has fizzled out my soul.


I used to blog before. Jitterbug, I used to call myself. It meant nothing. I wrote my heart out and showed it to someone I trusted. Your sentences are too long and winding. Your tone is so sad, you lament, unlike the happy person you are otherwise. What you read won't make google like you any more, you never even title your posts sometimes.

But friend, I think now, that was more me than I'll ever be. Writing for me was a bridge from my heart to the world, and you put some nasty stink bombs on it. I didn't care if the world saw me, I didn't care if I made money out of it, I didn't care what I came across. It was the one place that I could be me, in this world where we need to have a facebook account to stay a part of the clan; or have the smallest cellphone so it gives the right image to the job title scribbled on our visiting card, where we precariously balance our lives on stilletos and drive SUVs to look down from our high horses. It was home.

I used to write like she did. My words contoured around corners, and tapered at the end. They lingered and they weighed you down. They danced sometimes, and paragraphs looked like pictures. They were my words, all mine, with their little dots and corners and slants.

The Consequences of Boredom.


I like Adobe Illustrator. Now lets see what word is killing the cartoon people!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

LazY BunnY

Since I'm a lazy bunny, I thought I'd write a post that had nothing to do with what the title implied it would be. What I am going to do instead is upload a video from my recent gallavant to Jordan. We rented a car, and since I would only ride shotgun, I was designated as the navigator/ map reader as well. I maintain till my second last breath that that map was jacked. We did manage to find the places we wanted to get to eventually, though I do believe its much more adventurous getting lost and seeing the real bits of the country. Yes, even if it means reaching a suspicious looking dead end with strange looking men in uniforms brandishing swords over a bonfire with evil grins on their faces. Good thing that didnt happen to us of course, but it would've taught 'em to do the navigation, aye? This video does not consist of anything marvellous- no ruins, no landscape, no me, no car chase, no bird falling from the sky onto the windscreen. It's just a drive. Enjoy the music. :-D

video

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Virtual Doppelganger

Curious people that we are, we have all googled our names once in a while. two years ago or so, I was looking for something, some ember of the shadow of my past even. Something to savour and a memory to snuggle into. The webs ability to transport me into the warmth of yesteryear was comforting at that point.

I put my name on and saw a few links that were relevant. Not enough. Not enough by six and a half dozen yards. I investigated all the links, every hyperlink and every picture, relishing every flashback. At the bottom of the page, I saw a link with my name, and a blog domain. What? The summary sounded like me, though I had no memory of writing it at all!

I clicked onto it, and saw the picture, it wasn't me but a young woman of about my age. I read her description and the rage surged volcanically through my bloodstream as I found that everything that was put in there, were excerpts from my resume. Word for word, from the about me to education, languages known, interests, where I lived, the other certificates I had. I was stumped and wanted to wrong off someone's head. I didn't care who. I proceeded to read the blog which had half a dozen posts which seemed to have abruptly stopped a year ago. The stories were not mine, neither did the impersonator mimick my style well. But they didn't have to, they had a flair for capturing what could have been my life very easily. The stories sounded like they would've fit my personality, except for the taste in some songs and phrases. Those were just plain blech. I can't remember how I forgot about it that day. I was paranoid enough at a point to wonder if the gemini in me evolved a split personality to live another life. But that was not true. I had no idea who it was and don't think I'll ever know.

I left some nasty comments cussing the bitch/ asshole and eventually forgot about it as it was abandoned long before I discovered it, and I doubted I'd get a response. A few months later when someone admitted they'd found it when they searched my name some time ago, I went back to the site. There was just the profile, bu the blog was gone. The reason I'm bringing it up today, was because I was over at my sisters. I used to have an Orkut account and forgot the email address I signed up with and wanted to check if I had any new scraps since the last century. I hadn't added her as a friend, so I had to search me. Wanna guess who I find? Now once again, I'm livid and curious about who had the audacity and what were their reasons. My sister marvelled at the profile, some of which had the same details on that website and some which they had casually filled up on their own with general answers. The profile is still there on the blog domain. The wannabe me I'll never know.

Elevator

My office is on the top most floor of a one storey building. Yes, it's not that high up. Yet, the elevator; which is slower than rigor mortis; is surprisingly used more frequently than a hot yet cheap hooker. The car park and bathrooms are in the basement, though people use it to go one storey lower as well. I have, for the fun of it, raced it to find that I am thrice as fast in my sneakers and one and a half times as fast in my heels.

So today as I get out of my office to go to the bathroom, after prolonging the need to for very long on account of reading all of your blogs, I curse my luck to see that the chick from the neighbouring office is also heading towards the elevator. Shit, I think, no chicken dance in the elevator to control my bladder. The chicken dance is an intricately concocted dance of marching within the elevator in a circle while lifting my feet high with each step. I hope to God there isnt a camera in the elevator. No there isn't. I looked carefully when I was striking poses in the giant mirror they have in it. Yellow elevator light and Giant mirrors just make you look amazing.

I survive, despite the fact that she stands right in front of the button thinking she's pressed it, but hadn't. I resist socking her face while reaching for it but politely gesture. It was funny though, as we hit the bottom floor, she tried to hop off to the bathroom as gracefully as one can muster a hop! I burst out laughing much to the poor chics discomfort, and she refused to look me in the eye for a whole week. Funny shit, you know?

P.S I iz off to the neighbouring city of Amman tomorrow for a weekend of bliss! I will see you bloggers and bloggerettes Saturday! :-)

Lexulous Blitz

I actually found a youtube video online for you all. For those of you who like lexulous, you will love the Blitzy version of it.



Here's the lowdown on it .
The Blitz version takes Lexulous to an all new level! Blitz is exactly the same as regular Lexulous, except that you have the entire board to yourself. You compete with up to 150 people in rounds lasting 4 minutes each.
All players start the round with the same 7 tiles, and then it is up to them to make full use of the 4 minutes to get the maximum number of points. Whoever scores most before the time / tiles run out, wins the round. Results for all the players in the round are shown instantly and the next round begins after a 1 minute break.
If you play Blitz it is highly recommended that you use the keyboard to place the tiles rather than drag them one by one using the mouse. Simple (sic) click on the board and a black arrow will appear. Then type the tiles you have in your rack to place them on the board. Clicking twice will make the arrow point vertically.

I know people been using it since late last year, but I just discovered it. This is meant for any of you, who are the last to find out about everything just like me. Let's see if you can finish all your tiles in 4 minutes!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Pekingese Power

The one thing I like about living in this desert is that I have the keys to three different houses. I pay rent to just one, of course. The one I'm plonked at tonight has got the cutest pekingese you have ever seen. It looks very daft actually, but you know how some daft things look cute. Like how something really ugly just nullifies its own repulsiveness.
So Flatface and me had a stand off earlier. I think its the only stand off that ever happened with one contender trying desperately to suppress a volley of laughter. He wouldn't finish up his dinner and I wouldn't let him budge from there to where he desperately wanted to go. Don't ask me where he desperately wanted to go. I mean, we humans move with direction in our houses to a few particular places- the couch, the fridge and the bathroom. Other places we kind of roll towards. Well, so I just stood in front of his tiny staunchness and he glared angrily at my feet. Its the cutest thing when an animal musters up all of his emotion into his little face. He looks up at me with this angry little sulk, sees me with my most hilarious grin on and his entire demeanour changes I tell you! He kind of smiles (a smile looks weirder on a pekingnese than on any other dog, I tell you) and then sits right there and keeps looking at me... probably trying to say 'lets see who can do this longer'. I gave up obviously, as I heard one of Discovery's Evolution programs coming on and wanted to figure out where little pekingnese smarty pants came from. I know he's plotting his vengeance for the fact that I'm making him finish his dinner, it's going to be a rude sloppy pekingese breath awakening tomorrow morning.




I know you all know this song, but it's worth reminding you of.

Vertical Scrabble

Or should I say vertical Lexulous? Some random stranger seemed to be up for my impulsive madness, and allowed his grey cells to challenge wordly gravity

Saturday, March 14, 2009

For Braja

I went to blognuts page to play catch up, only to find out that one of our well-loved bloggers Braja met with an accident with her husband a few days ago. I'm not the prayer type, but I do believe in positive energies doing their job. Her last post has been receiving loads of love from all of her readers, where she had written about her impending trip to Bangkok though she did not make it to the airport. She is getting better and updates about her are here http://www.prabhupada.org/rama/?p=4422.

Get well soon Braja and hubby!

Break from Reality

You know that feeling when you partied too hard after too long, and your body aches as if you had tried climbing up Mount K2 the day before?

It's a little worse than that for me this morning, because the dust storm (see previous post) left me with a loud sniffling cold. Kuwait is like that, everyone's allergies and sinuses act up after a dust storm and the change of seasons has everyone sneezing at each other or each others keyboards as means of communication. I was convinced I would stumble upon the cure for cold while I experimented with various spirits, but mixing 'em all up was not the best idea. (In retrospect I think it's brandy, which I had none of at all). I'm also sure I had one red bull too many because I seem to have used up a whole weeks ration of energy and my bones have now decided they feel senile.

Then there's that feeling like I did something wrong, like I made out with someone or I lost something expensive or I told someone how I really feel about them. I know I did something, but I seem to have blurred that out for the moment. All I remember is the dancing. The bass resonating between the LED curtains. The glow sticks flying through the air. Come to think of it, parties are always worth the aftermaths even if you don't remember half the night. Cheers peeplez.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

More Dust Storm Pictures.

So it was one of those beautiful sunny days when I stepped out of our building singing "a whole new world", take six steps towards my car, pause and go back up. Two minutes later I re-emerge, it's deja vu except that i'm carrying my MBA notes that I hope I can sneak-read between browsing of all your blogs. "A whole new world" on my lips and a maniacal grin on my face, and I'm ready for the day.
It's beautiful weather all the way through my rose tinted sunglasses. I don't even flip off those two cars who cut me off in their attempt to race each other. Anyway, the rose tinted glasses suddenly weird out on me, or so I thought as the world suddenly looked duller. I took them off, and presto, there's a dust storm just waiting there for me to drive into... It was crazy to be in completely clear weather and drive into this which hovered some few meters away! I gurgled with glee at the thought of those two drivers who cut me off, they'd have to slow down...
Have you seen the movie The Mist? Most of the dust storms I compare to that, but tis one was seriously close to it. I was waiting for something weird to pop into visibility. Slid over from the fast lane and clicked you a few pictures....
I also shot a video, but unfortunately "whats love got to do with it" started playing on the radio and I absent-mindedly sang along the whole time, and didnt realize it until I got to my office. No you ain't getting it. Anyway, wish you fun weather where ever you are!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Coldplay at Abu Dhabi!


I don't believe this! Tickets to Dubai are 30 KD to AND fro for the 28th they play. It's their first Middle Eastern tour at the Emirates Palace, and we all know they'll never come back!!!! Okay, I shouldnt be so melodramatic, I'm sure they'll be back when I'm old and shrivelled and gray!!!!!!!!
Why can't I leave, you ask in utter bewilderment? Because our stoopid company only gives us 14 days off in a year which I'm trying to save carefully for a trip to Europe, or Asia around June. AND while the rest of Kuwait has Saturday off, once again I crib about it because I work Saturday! Arrrrrrrrgh! Arrrrrgh indeed.


I ain't giving up as long as those Jazeera tickets are still available. Or until I find a good ploy as to why I need to go there. Lets hope a client is headed that way, and that loophole would be bullseye, baby!

Things to do in Kuwait

Volunteer every Friday at AFL and give those homeless puppies and kitties some love and money.

Pursue your hobbies since there aint too many distractions here.

Try out new cuisines- Japanese, SriLankan, Moroccan and Korean are interesting and not too common.

Learn Arabic from your Arab neighbour. Teach his kids english or math or art.

Capoeira.

Have a Barbeque at Matla Ridge.

Hatha Yoga

Swim out in the sea on a weekday after work.

Scout the Friday flea market for hidden treasures. If you have no use for them, sell them on Amazon.

Write a blog. Don't write about Kuwait, there's too many of those! Write about family gossip anonymously!

Studio C's Friday painting class for adults.

Horseriding.

Watch a foreign film on the weekly rooftop screening by Cinemagic.

Make paper planes and throw 'em out your window.

Sewing Classes.

Artistic Yoga.

Go to the Mirror House

Another way to learn German.

I did a post some time ago about a site called busuu.com. It's a great way to learn languages with an interactive format and little newsletters that pop into your inbox and guilt you into learning. But honestly all things loose their novelty, as did this site. My other options were learning it by listening to alot of German music, but with my inconsiderate sources, all I managed to get was a handful of Rammstein. Which is great music, but there's only so much of it you can listen to without hitting somebody. So scratch that. At least until I stop pms-ing.
So yesterday I came across this other site http://www.german-flashcards.com/. It's pretty simple, a lot more simpler than Busuu, unfortunately it's only German, yep, like the domain name suggests. I'm not sure how long it's going to keep my attention, but as long as that window is kept open on my pc I know I won't forget it.
If nothign else works, I'm gonna have to date a professor who teaches German. Until I decide I don't need to know German, but its Arabic I need to invest my time in. Until then, auf wiedersehn.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Whats your score??????????

If you can't read throught he hole post here's the essence of it:- Thats what my facebook status says right now. It says: Tell me how many seconds YOU can do this for!http://euxus.eu/spapo.de/multitaskingtest.html.

I've been pummeled at work, by work of all things and it has caught by the hair and shaken me like a rag doll. This was the best escape I found that took just about a few seconds at a time. Anyway the highest was a chic who got 13.23 and I havent put my down though I've got 8.766. Lets see if a guy beats that, muahahah

Monday, March 2, 2009

GPS Maps in Kuwait: Directions to a Headache.

Since I started driving some raw 3 and a half months ago, I have perfected my route to exactly 5 destinations. Everything else I need is either on the way to these places or conveniently just around it. If I need to drive anywhere else, radars go on red alert between my friends. I'm sure they twitter it, and change their facebook status to warn each other that its time to switch off their phones.

So today, in my quest to find the Jordanian embassy,I decided I wouldn't use anything from a cell phone to a ouija board for directions. I wasn't going to disturb a soul, and try and revert the damage I caused to the collective womens reputations as bad navigators. I had to resort to something, and technology decided to amuse itself at my expense for the day.

When your GPS Nokia Maps dont have voice commands, they are nothing but a pretty distraction! Or a good way to have fun if someone is sitting beside you and screaming "5 mtrs, 4 mtrs, 3 mtrs, 2 mtrs, 1 mtr, turn! Turn! TURN!!!!!" But holding it in your hand while driving alone is no fun. What sounds like fun right now is plopping my phone into this here glass of water - GPS and all. Though we all know I wont do it. Either way, even if its my fault for not embarking on the arduous process of installing voice commands, these things have an outdated mind of their own- telling me to take a left smack in the middle of a divider and take a U-turn into oncoming traffic. So in the end, I decided I was better than technology and decided to follow my intuition. I grinned a cheshire smile when I found the right road, only to have that grin completely upturned to realize I had gone in the utterly wrong direction. It sucked at highways, and it sucked at showing exits but it found the block 5 in Jabriya I'm sure I would've spent an hour looking for. Maybe if I had a bigger screen, or if technology found its way to displaying navigation on my windshield I might give it a chance again.
I didn't say it wouldnt give you directions, I just said it would give you a headache along with the service.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

99 Village Theme Park: Comical Indeed.

The 99 Village theme park at the end of 6th ring road has a very comical theme. Thats the fact that its not a park but one big not-so-gigantic safety hazard with superheroes that won't jump off the walls to save the day. The giant super heroes of the comic book 99 don the walls and makes for some fun photo ops, but it's meant to lure you to the boredom within.
We went for the opening on the 25th. The crowd had some 98% kids and fully covered women, and the sight of super hero walls surrounding this audience was amusing. We sat on two things of which the names I obviously don't remember, but one looked like this:
Which we went on despite seeing this:-
It tumbled upside down and was pretty cool, save for a big groan when we were suspended at the top. I'll pretend that was intentional on their part, and it was meant to aid us with the adrenaline rush they assumed we craved since we lived in Kuwait. (Not my opinion there, but just my assumption of theirs).
We also sat on the Viking, which was an oscillating boat where some other kids decided to stand on instead of sit on while it swung. I couldnt help imagine what made the local kids immune to fright, because when I sat on that ride I had to hold on tight to convince myself I wasn't going to fall off. And I'm not that bad at doing these rides, I swear.
Other than that, the bumper carts were fun though some poor kid had her hand dangling out of her car and hurt it while she drove it into another car, there were some plastic balls they'd fill with air, tuck you in and throw it into a small pond, some trampolines with women fastening the kids up which means none of my guy friends could go on it. Good thing too as they wanted to go propel the kids who were there with their hearty jumps.
The pond of water in front of the very abused stage was a gross concoction of foam, cans and other unidentified objects. I won't mention anything about the horse drawn carriages that the kids tried to clamber on from the back instead of sitting up front, and thankfully no limbs were off while I watched in horror.

I also wont mentioned malnourished looking horses that seemed unhappy and overworked. Though I can't say the mascots were having a better time, with an army of deprived kids tugging at his hand, and the taller ones pulling his nose and taking off his little unblinking mascot head. I wish I could say they at least didnt pinch his butt. No actually I wish I could say I had a picture of that happening.
P.S: BBC Radio witnessed it too. In other news, here is another account of the theme park inaugration.