The Heat is On

The phone beeps a message alert. I am expecting it to be one of those silly arabic adverts that you get every second hour when you are expecting that one very important message. Naw, it's M. She wants to know if I'll be hauling my hiney for the rooftop BBQ @ a common friends tonight. I want to ask her if she knows how hot it is! The fact that he lives by the beach may make a great view, but the sea being right there also makes the vicinity humid as hell. And no, I've not been to hell but a humid hell just makes a great alliteration. Either way I oughtta get my vegetated cabbage of an ass out of this sunken sloth on this couch and do something that actually seems productive to ease my silly workaholic conscience.
I was wondering if it was just me or if the summers in Kuwait are getting a tad bit more scorching and the winters just shorter. Either way, now that Ramadan is coming up we (when I say we I bet I mean the whole of Kuwait) hope some hint of winter waddles through on a cool cool breeze. Work hours are gonna be fewer and I would love to frolick around in great weather; and since many here will be starving, tired and some probably grumpy with their self imposed fast for the month I'm sure they'd agree that it better friggin cool down soon . I am excited even about considering what I will do with the extra hours! I'll probably do the same thing as Fridays though, which includes more junk food and blending into the furniture exclusively in front of the big screen, but for right now, there is hope to do stuff!

Interesting Internet Links

After my brand new and only reader, Jared suggested I indulge in exactly what I wanted to in this blog, I decided to heed his sage advice and plunge into incessant rants immediately.
First I shall rave about one awesome website I found during my aimless online wanderings. You have to hit jackpot when the history of your recent pages for one day is longer than China's great little wall. Now keeping in mind that the definition of awesome varies relatively, here is the website I speak of http://www.busuu.com/ I have surfed it for 3 hours and have never been more encouraged in my quest to learn different languages with an interactive community. It has tests, records of your study of every language in every form, chatting with other students with compatible interests and basically everything it needs to have. I have never come across a site such as this on the subject so easily with such a simple interface. I signed up for French, Arabic and German and offered help in english. Already did one test and have received some feedback. Will let you know how that continues.

Okay, my love for watching random series for free online had me exploring what free tv had in store. And came across this.
http://www.free-tv-video-online.info/internet/secret_diary_of_a_call_girl/
Scandallous, independent, bold, daring and foreign. I only saw the first seven episodes but you immediately fall in love with the character and empathize and understand. It's based on some chics true stories that she has down here http://belledejour-uk.blogspot.com/ Hats off to ya, chica!

Cloning, Lack of Animal Rights and other things ridiculous.

I cannot consolidate all my fury into an apt but short title! I could not google any satisfying information at all on why they cannot be banned from doing this.
Whilst the shelters leak puppies and brim cats, along bounces RNL Bio, cloning away a Booger for a lady who missed her pit bull terrier enough to clone it. It's not like it pops out like Booger where she left him off, these are brand new puppies which she paid a merry 50,000 $ and its not like you can clone personality. It is like adopting just another pit bull terrier from her neighbourhood shelter, or maybe from one in the next state. Of course its not just another gene that belongs to these dogs, but if you have that much to spend on cloning- can't you just be unselfish and adopt 12 such dogs that are homeless or start a shelter in your dogs name? If your dog had a soul, wouldn't it feel nicer about something beneficial lingering on earth in its name rather then wannabe replacements? When our dog Bingo died, my brother in law named this design after her, which wasnt made in time to save her but can save and offer comfort to many others.
I would think what needs to be cloned are the endangered species, apparently cloning a gaur failed badly in 2001. In the same year, a European Mouflon was apparently successfully cloned though. Google is not the most helpful, but I hope this can be used for the right purposes.

Salwa, Block 4, Street 4

I sit here eyes glazed, watching as the idea aims lassoes at me. Misses. I have never been anything else besides a perfect pendulum, and oscillated between the majority of major decisions. I can't swallow change easy, I just gargle it in my mouth for a while until I'm forced to spit it out or swallow it. Now wouldn't that just make the worst quote if I did something accidental enough to make me famous? Pray forgive my seeming negativity, it really isn't me- but it's a great vent and sarcasm tickles me in funny places. I even paused a great movie by Miyazaki to write this down.
The phone beeps. It's the third person asking me to join them indulge in the exciting evening life in Kuwait, but my feet seemed to have forgotten to ask me before they turned into roots, so Idecline.
I flip a coin. Heads- Block 4 matchbox house, or Tails- stay here till she leaves. Tails. but when will she leave? Will I still be sane then? My eyes glaze. The wall stares at me, boring holes at the back of my head; scandalized by the fact that I stalled my plan to drape its nakedness with my 6 x 6 NYC photograph. I let it continue looking wide and tall and uninterrupted in its plainness thinking more and more that I will leave my fate to a coin. Money wont let me down.

Dream, dream, Dream!

I am still wallowing in an unnecessary and melodramatically listless phase. Despite finding my prodigal camera and the elusive missing keys.

I have been reading up on Lucid Dreaming, though I would suggest you look up either of the Pavlina's for great free reading. I've been trying to get it going pretty unsuccessfully, mostly so I could hopefully tune into the collective subconscious of the real estate agencies in Kuwait to find one bloody good apartment worth the money. Or maybe float through their database in my dreams and change the rents to something not so severely inflated it would be a helium balloon if I tried to give it form! Okay so its not possible at that level, but it gives me great solace to think about it. I have been searching for some very elusive stimuli to act as catalyst to my life. If another person says that I need to look within me, I will go to a store, buy an umbrella and beat that person with it. I looked inside me already, there's enough of nothing there to use that umbrella seiously.

I've been trying to lucid dream and have been using all the principles wikipedia suggests will trigger it; amazingly enough all I seem to be doing is sleeping so well that I cant even remember my dreams let alone take the reigns and make them giddyap into my fantasies. Persistence. I'm looking forward to go home and sleep after work! It aint gonna do wonders for my social life, but this is one successful plan to save money!

God Awful Day

First of all I wake up with worst hangover imaginable. I normally don't have rough mornings after an indulgent night but yesterday, I wound up mixing spirits as they kept running out of everything I decided to drink.
I lost my camera, passed out when I hit the sack; and can't find my keys right now. Ugh I'm never going to touch another drop again!

Now since one mans Kopi Luwak is to another man civets shit, I will try not to impose my ideas of amusement unto you.

I know alot of people who access the internet at home and still bicker about boredom, or mind numb themselves with too much Texas Hold Em

- Find old movies, Japanese anime, documentaries online

- Read! Don't pick a heavy book if you know your brain is going to tuck in all its grey cells to bed within a few seconds.

- Sketch or be the dilletante that your untapped skills demand you to be!

- Start a website or blog.

- Play Scrabble online with me!

Homecoming

I havent gone home for a week because I was afraid my brain would pop out of my head in boredom, turn around, look at me in the eye, screech and then shrivel and just die. Today I figure I've been out, doing things that have pretty much begun to saturate and infuriate me anyway. So instead of subjecting myself to any more gallivanting around, or coffee induced conversations or couch crashing, I'm gonna impose some me-time on myself. (Speaking off, are there words for "stimuli" when its effect has worn off? Or a "drug" that ones system is immune against? Things that no longer fulfil their purpose or such unfortunate synonyms? )
I do have a stack load of things that I find interesting, but the only challenge is the attention span I possess that resembles the same of a two year old. Maybe three, but thats it. I think its time to play Dr Phil against myself and do the obvious. Time for self-arrest and probably six posts throughout the evening, ha.

Inspirational Tips for Blog Posts

I had to wrestle a friend of mine to introduce a saucy new blogging feature to me the other day, and it may have just reincarnated my dead interest for blogging. I'm still determined not to join the league of bloggers in kuwait http://safat.kuwaitblogs.com/- it is insanely tempting- like as if my life depended on it- but I'll refrain and attempt to write self satisfying bullshit over desperately trying to get hits.

Anyway so I was thinking of how to get inspired on how to blog adn ehre's what i came up with:
Come up with controversial titles that would make a 90 year old get a heart attack.
Treat it like a painting if you are an artist, shade it, colour it, give it a finishing stroke. Or like a car if you are a mechanic, listen to how it sounds, tweak it, turn it, oil it up and rev the engine... I could go on, but then you'd bloody get bored. Just pimp it up.
Scan irrelevant documents that you find on your table, or plagiarize your colleagues cool doodle as yours.
Gossip endlessly about your friends and the stoopid things they do
I'm running out of things right now, so I will stop before this list disintegrates into crap.

Come back for more posts!

The Right Place, The Right Time- makes the Right Belief.

Your choice of religion will be that belief that coincidentally crosses your path when you need it the most. Many others will hover and sway around you, but the only one you will notice is the one that happens to be "lucky" enough to be in the foreground og your attention when you are seeking a rope to grope on to.

Whichever religion this will be, since you have actively chosen it (if you do choose religion that is- you could choose to grapple and find lots of other ways- drugs, psychiatry, etc) you will utilize it for all its got, and such faith can propel anything to happen. That belief will end up being the right one that will work for you, because you have enough conviction in you to passionately make it happen simply because of the circumstances involved.

I have shunned religion for quite a while because I don't quite like the boundaries they draw. They only purpose they seemed to have were to be moral police for society in general, and for the satisfaction of the conscience in an individual. Also, the blind faith usually allows them to channelize their beliefs way better to actually alter the state of current existence to get them what they want. Which is way tougher to do when you believe it the way I do, a lazily aware attempt. Anyways it's the right place and the right time for me finally; and I have stumbled upon a beautiful consolidation of my beliefs. Well, I hope actually, as I am only in the initial stages of understanding it and only know its gist through reviews.

The only thing that makes a good religion is respect and tolerance of other peoples choice to believe what they want as long as it doesnt effect other people. To each their own, unless they're suicide bombers.

Last Country to Leave Yesterday.

Last month when I tried to snake my way out of forgetting to wish a friend a Happy Birthday, I facebooked her a "Happy Birthday Week" with all the pomp and splendour of many smiley faces and exclamation marks. She caught it quick and retorted that I couldnt get off with that phrase and would have to buy her something "big and expensive" firstly for having the memory of a dead elephant and secondly, for tryign to foist myself out of it. So naturally, when I forgot another charmingly witty friends birthday yesterday; I knew I had to come up with nothing short of genius to cover up a human beings natural indifference about celebrating wrinkles and grey hair.

So I googled what country might it still be yesterday in. Honolulu is at half past 11 in the p.m; so I claimed that I was waiting for the last possible moment to wish him so the beauty of his birthday could be prolonged for as long as possible. It was even more cheesy the way I said it, and him and me both know I've forgotten but it's still valid with that logic. Let's see how well I get away with this one.

I'm going to now go see who may be celebrating their birthday tomorrow and wish them according to the time in Kiritimati, Christmas Islands.

Sorry for all the sand.

I have decided to issue a public apology for all the sandstorminess in our dust bowl. It so happens that every time I plan to go out to meet my clients who work out on the horrizontal speck of a plane in the distance- a sandstorm rears it fluffy head. So, so sorry.

Half Life Crisis

It's not a quarter life crisis anymore. When you are 25, half of your life is actually how much of it has whooshed by you already. It may be the modern era of many a medical discovery, but it also is one fast paced world that is progressing towards moving in fast-forward-momentum and if a brick is going to squash your head while you walk under a construction site, be assured it will fall down at you faster and harder than before. There is no reason for this, like the crop circles have no satisfying explanation.

I am doing everything I can to come to the terms that I need to roll over my current personality and induce a heart attack of a change within me. I have cropped my hair, deactivated my facebook account and considering becoming a buddhist; but that shiver of feeling change is not running creepily down my spine. I am still questioning my choice of career, my addiction to mint tipped toothpicks and the lackadaisical attitude that spurts out of me whenever a serious issue commands me to react. The yawns are deeper and the sentiments are only the shimmering glazed surface that can be seen. The influences keep hurtling at breakneck speed towards you, and there is so little time to analyze before reaction and there are so many contradictory ideas that settle in the bowl of comprehension, one big melee of modern madness. Never thoguht I'd hear myself say this, but I'd like to be some years older now.

long winding sentences

they stretched all that they had curtailed to allow my world of daring pleasures according to the convenience of conventions, to me it was my world of explorations that the weak and narrow minded avoid as they are not strong enough to reign over their subconscious. They had to adhere to it, as they never ventured to touch the barriers to see they were imaginary. i listen to the wind disturb the trees and the rain coming in and it calms my intoxicated soul. then the plastic sound of a grocery bag crashes the calm to earth again. I switch on the yellow night light and pick up a notepad. The cat runs out the door chased by the plastic bag that has caught up with her hind leg. The scratchy sound of the pencil against paper soothes me more that the rat-tat-tat of the keyboard, the mount of venus against paper not plastic...... times have changed, and we have along with it. I had read earlier on M's scrap book a line I had entered some 5 years ago. People change and forget to tell each other.

Guilt sits easy on my left collar, playing with my mind as if it were a PS3. I immediately feel awful. I know the answer is lurking in the silence. i wait for it to materialize. i wait for the sudden rustle of the wind to whisper it to me, i wait. i fall asleep, waiting.

Even the mosquitoes move in slow motion. The humidity teases the skin, and the sweat just stays a millisecond below the pores. The power cuts make the air heavier, and it seems like everytime the lights go out something stretches out from the darkness and engulfs all the oxygen. Then while it waits for the darkness to swallow up the village again, it retreats to the inundated gutter on the farther side of the narrow two way road.
I met God today amidst retched gold decor and gory depictions of some obscure unbelievable phase of the bible on the chapel walls. The hymns sung were in another language booming out of two jarring speakers. God is deaf. Or he will be soon, I thought.
I looked at him sitting beside me, flipping pages of the little leather bound book; lips moving faster than I knew his unspectacled eyes could see. I tried not to stare as I studied the creases around his eyes and the slight patch on his skin of something denoting senility and immediately felt guilty about nothing apparent.
I led my thoughts away; to the old pictures I'd found. To the flowers I wanted to put on my long passed away dog, to the pictures I wanted to click. I closed my eyes to imagine it, just in time to not see the lights go out again. I took a deep breath.

The Long Way to the Objective Plane

Keeping into account the thoughts your rage spews- these are the cons of what you are thinking about.

The excuses your slothful lethargy and compacency disgorges- these are the pros.

Think about it when you are drunk. or PMSing. That's how you feel about it.

Then weigh these all down when you are completely neutral and unbiased by any of the above moods, and that is your answer.

Being Pissed off and Working

Management will always be absolute F%$#ers with a bold capital F. They f%$# us around and we f$#@ those people who we manage. A vicious cycle of Karma perhaps, but those are the rules.

Since I was blackmailed and bribed by the company to stay back, I've been trying to mount the work horse again and giddyup. It's difficult to love both the work and the clients, but hate the management and the system. It's tough when you are pumped up to work and your boss does a typically dumb-boss thing, and you get too pissed off to work. You try to rationalize with your rage that it's your target at stake and your clients you may loose, but it's not easy to care for something that will allow those assholes to enjoy the fruit of your labour.

Right now, I just want to set up my own freakin office and open up a business with innovative and creative solutions for office ambience, layout, styles. Anyone with loads of experience wanna partner up with a fresh, raw and hopeful mind?


If not, oh just F%$# the corporate world, Biiiiiatch. So, if any of you managers have treaded paths with this blog, really- don't be the jackass that you truly are deep inside. Put on a loving facade, slap on a caring smile and blab off two sugar coated lies about why we can't have it. It'll work better then taking away hope.

What it's like to work Saturdays....

I've plugged in some u2 in my ears to block out the silence. It's so quiet to work on a saturday that you could hear a pin drop on a Persian carpet. My colleagues heady perfume is probably the loudest thing that could happen today.

But honestly, I don't mind working Saturdays.

Trudging out of bed at 9. Empty roads on the way to work. Pajamas. Donut. The fact that I can stay how long I want to makes me want to work faster, longer. Everythng is to the point - Spewing out this post. That facebook message. The bid. The calls to the client. Sharp. Cut to fit. I'm not obliged to stay here, so I'm actually doing it willfully and efficiently. It's unique to be one of the few to have a purpose today and feel productive at the end of the day. So Tally ho, hoes; I be whistling away at work! :-)

Thursday Night

Already buzzed like a buggaboo

picking up another bottle

in case blogs get checked, i... uh... may be in another country hoo ha.

Friday Worthy

I hate the monotony of regular days when life turns into a drone. You do the same things over and over again that you cannot landmark your days as they all seem the same, living a repetitive series of Deja Vu. I was afraid Friday would be like that but it was one of the most wonderful weekends I've had here.

We went to the Animals Friends League in the morning (by which I mean half past 11) and were engulfed by these bounding, happy smiles all wrapped up in innocence. I was frolicking with four legged bundles of joy!!!!! We just had the wholesome goodness of pure innocent fun with floppy ear-red fluff balls! We just hung in the courtyard and got out a couple of dogs it was so cool, just chilled out there until someone dragged me out kicking and screaming! I found the love of my life, his name is Ninja and he was shorter than the blades of grass!!!!! :-)

Sometimes you need something pure and real to get you back to the ground. People who don't have pets probably go for a confession, and people who have no pets and aint christian probably try to get it from nature- a pure cleansing ritual. Not all of us have at least one of these options. And now, since I feel like sounding like an advertisement, AFL is the answer. Hah but it was, we left some 3 odd hours later, happy, fuller people, grateful that there was a corner in this country where you could feel real again.

In the evening, we went to the Kuwait Riding Centre in Sabhan. There was a horse jumping tournament that we almost completely missed because I was lost in the stables speaking to those sturdy enormous horses in puppy language. There was more than 50 horses, and I hear the owners spend 150 KD per month to keep them here. The horses are imported from various places, but especially Europe. There was a fantastic crowd and after the race was over there was a little get together with the Kuwaiti singer and this guy playing the " Oudh" (sp?) while everyone feasted on food from Mais Alghanim.

If clubbing was legal here, I would have been a hungover vegetable to have the best animal day ever!